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Monday 31 October 2005

精神支柱

Spiritual support...


This is a continuation of the previous post... It's been so long already, I think it's time I commended on that great buddy of mine... First some history about us, we were both part of an insane force... Our training consists of being tortured, torturing ourselves and torturing ourselves while we torture our juniors... The actual events are classified, so I'll not dabble into it... As if that was not enough, I have to suffer the pressures from above and from below... Being a Team Leader, pressure from above is understandable, but pressure from below? The men and the Team Leaders are of the same rank and usually the same age, so I had little or no control over them... I have to act a nice guy, and sweet talk them for them to do anything... It was a good thing I had such a great Team 2IC...

For the first half of the time spent there, he helped me alot... He shared my burden, and taught me how to handle the men... From him, I learnt simple communication skills that I seem to lack for the past 18 years... I was better at controlling my temper as well... If he wasn't there, I would probably have had several nervous breakdowns... After we turned operational, the stress level decreased and I was able to take a step back to look at things... I realized how much I had learnt from Jonathan, but how little I had done for him, in fact, I think I sucked him dry... He was only able to lead under my shadow; I had turned him into my puppet... He dares not make any decisions himself, maybe it was out of respect for me, or maybe I craved for power and never let him make those decisions...

I feel bad about this while I looked back at those days... I could sense my growth from the first day I entered the force to the day I left... As for Jonathan, I feel that he is more mature at the start then at the end, maybe it's because of the ORD mood... An excerpt from the testimonial he wrote for me: "... you've been a superb team leader, you have taught me lots of things, and i will have to thank you for that..." I wonder how much of that is true, but I really hope he meant it...

Life would never be the same if I had chosen someone else as the Team 2IC that day... Now that he is in UK, I wish him all the best... His birthday is coming soon as well, don't really remember exactly when... When he is back, I'll like to introduce this great buddy to everyone I know...

後悔

Of all things acquired through life, the one possession we hope to never attain is regret...


On a bus journey a few days back, I was reflecting upon my life, "What was my biggest regret?" I used to think that my biggest regret was to choose "Chinese at 'A' levels" over "Accounting" during my JC days... My life was messed up, I couldn't catch up with the lessons... Maybe I could, but was just too lazy to do so... I had no interest in that subject and I often wonder why the hell did I choose it in the first place... The answer was simple, it was an uninformed decision... I did not know at that point of time which was better or which was worse, the decision was made solely on instinct... I've always had a good intuition, something I trust in all situations (if I get the hint), but that was one time it messed up bad... or so I thought...

Now that I think back, maybe it wasn't really such a bad thing after all... I may have flunk my 'A' levels, but that was the only way for me to become the person I am now... Because of that incident, I've become very careful at making any decisions... I always make sure I know what I'm doing before I do it, decisions usually lead to happy endings... People come to me for advice, and I help them as though it was my own problem, things I don't know I wouldn't comment... Though that had caused me to hate people who give irresponsible remarks... Just because it doesn't concern them, they say things they THINK is right, but do not make an effort to validate them... I hate them because they would not have to shoulder the consequences of their words...

While what I learnt was enough to justify the bad decision-making, what about the one year wasted to repeat my 'A' levels? Nothing happened during my days in Jurong Institute, though I learnt a bit of guitar and did get better grades for my 'A' levels, but it wasn't really much improvement over the previous one... What changed my life was what happened next, my National Service was delayed for a year, and I'm sure I wouldn't be part of that great unit if it was otherwise... I held a key position from the second week I entered the unit, responsibilities and expectations were thrown on me while I was still struggling to adapt... I learnt the hard way to be responsible and committed to everything I do; along the way, the discovery of the merits of honesty, and that was where my pact of honesty started... It was that place that changed the small boy (as how my CSM said we were) I was, to a responsible and thinking adult...

During these two years of my life there, I realized what I do not want to be... Before I entered Army, I was thinking of studying Management, and hold a managerial role in future... But that is not what an ambition should be, and it most certainly wasn't my ambtion to begin with, it was just the young me trying to emulate my father, seeing how successful he was... My direction in life was reset, I chose my future according to what I like rather than what earns... I know how difficult it is to study something I do not like, and how easy it was to score for something interesting (I got 'B' for Economics and 'F' for Chinese)... Having found my direction in life, I felt very relived, the world seemed brighter when you can see where you are going (at least in my memories the days after that were seemingly brighter)...

One person I'm very grateful to in that two years is Jonathan, my Team 2IC... I would like to tell his story now, but this entry is getting too long... What I want to say is he is one of those who had no direction in life, his life is determined by the faculty he chose after he got his results... He told me he did not want to study science, as that would narrow his prospects to research-based jobs only... I advised him to change it if he doesn't like it while there is still time, what he is going to study will greatly determine his life... He replied with a blank face, "I don't know what to change to..." And then there are those who blindly pursuits the Medicine degree just because it is a prestigeous and high-paying job... Maybe it is their passion, they want to save lives (yeah right), I would never know, but I'm sure most of them just want that prestige... This is where I'm glad I made that wrong decision, if I had chosen accounting then, I might be able to get into a local university, and waste several years of my life doing something I don't like...

Maybe my intuition wasn't wrong at all, it had planned to benefit me in the long term... Now, what is my biggest regret in life? I can happily say NONE!!

Thursday 27 October 2005

怎麼了

What happenned?


Well, nothing happened... Nothing to blog about... This is just to make sure everyone knows I'm still alive... Trying to extend this post beyond one paragraph... Maybe I'll talk about what's gonna happen soon...

There'll be another kayaking session next week, at least I hope there will be... Attendance is as follows:

5 guys - Me, Winson, Paul (the one who cannot swim but was forced into the water for demostration), and 2 of Paul's colleagues...
5 girls - 3 of Paul's colleagues and 2 of Winson's friends...

Hopefully this would be more fun than the previous one, seeing that there are more people plus no girlfriends present... But first, I have to hope there would even be a trip, then I'll think about how fun it would be... Oh, I just remembered my partner for the last trip was also Paul's colleague... Hmm... The fun factor has dropped a bit...

Monday 17 October 2005

新事件

Updates...


It's been a week since my last update, nothing much happens... This morning, my hair was very dry, I thought I'm gonna have a bad hair day... Tried to style it the usual way but it just wouldn't budge... I stopped and took a look, not bad, maybe I'll stick to this hairstyle today... I'm not a narcissist, so I wouldn't post an entire entry of pictures of my hair...

Today was something special, I went to meet Junan's boss... A week back, I messaged Junan through Friendster out of the blue... We started asking each other what we were doing and I mentioned designing webpage, she immediately asked me to help her with her company's website... There I was today, meeting her boss and discussing about the webpage... That guy is expecting quite a lot, getting quite worried whether I'll be able to deliver... After everything was settled, we went to a very late lunch... It was over lunch that I realized how lucky she was; that very morning I messaged her, her boss asked her to do something about the website... I was like her savior that popped out of nowhere... Haha... Talk about coincidence...

After that was band practice, the band director and band leader had something on and couldn't make it, that would put me in charge... At first I was quite happy, then I realized that I don't know what to do... Before things gone bad, Winson showed up, "I'm saved..." He took over the practice and we managed to do something different, all thanks to that bugger who kept our band director busy...

Before we ended our day, I asked Winson how's my hair today, he said that it's better than usual... I'm glad I didn't walk around looking like an idiot for the entire day, all that's left now is to try and create that exact style tomorrow...

Monday 10 October 2005

強弩弓

Arbalest...


What's with the title? I'll come to that later, this is just a boring update, a simple day, a simple life, remember? Went for band practice today after many Mondays of rest... Getting more and more tired of that place, actually it's just the fault of the band director... My band leader (Winson) is starting another combo band, he asked me to join as a pianist; finally playing something I like... Actually he needs me more as a technician, helping him to do all the recording and editing... I told him I want to be the lead singer as well and he agreed... No, I didn't threaten him or anything... Haha... Another step closer to my dream... In case you are wondering, the previous melodies recorded were done with him... I'll upload two other songs as well, as soon as the file server is up...

Now on to the discussion about the title, an Arbalest is a medieval artillery used during sieges, it is designed on the principle of a crossbow... A very powerful and accurate weapon during those ages... What has this got to do with the the topic? Totally nothing, except the name itself... My lessons in school are very boring, my friend sitting beside me always fall asleep, kind of affecting me as well... I tried ways to keep awake and found only a few effective methods:

1. Play handphone games
Pros: This is very effective, as it keeps me wide awake and thinking (I dun play those type of mindless games where you don't have to think)...
Cons: Usually I'm too absorbed into the game to notice what the lecturers say... Secondly, the game draws lots of battery power, every hour's session draws one bar of battery... Lastly, I was spotted during one of the lectures and was "lectured" by the lecturer...

2. Drawing
Pros: Improves my drawing technique... A very satisfying hobby which I like to do alot (meaning I won't fall asleep)...
Cons: Actually I can only copy things so I need a sample in front of me to draw (I don't bring much of those with me)... Sometimes I get too excited and forgets about the lecture, but it happens less often as compared to playing handphone games...

Here I present to you something I've drawn during one of the lectures, it's a robot from a great anime series: Full Metal Panic... As I've mentioned, the file server is down (but I've already uploaded it), it might take a while before you can see it...

Arbalest
Prototype Arm Slave: ARX-7 Arbalest, Full Metal Panic

Thursday 6 October 2005

我還活著

I'm still alive...


Seems like my luck wasn't at it worst (wasn't exactly that good either), but I shan't talk bad about the girl, so let's skip that part... We reach there at 9+, but the employee told us that he was locked out of the office, so we have to wait until 10.30am before we can rent the kayaks... We had 3 kayaks, 1 girl & 1 boy on each... Of the three guys, only Winson has experience in kayaking, so I asked him what to do if we ever capsize... He said he would need to do a live demostration, then he asked Paul and his partner, Melissa, to jump into the water so as to demostrate... I'm not sure why he asked them as both of them are non-swimmers... The two of them were struggling to keep afloat, while the rest of us were too busy laughing, it took a while to start the demostration... Not too long into the demostartion, we lost our concentration again; Paul was getting choked by his life vest!! It was such a funny sight, his face was turning red from struggling, maybe I should help him by pulling his head up? Too bad we don't have a camera...

When the demostration was finally over, the couples were asked to board the kayak again... Paul had no problems getting onto the boat, but Melissa couldn't make it up... They pulled from above, pushed from below, and tried all sorts of methods, but still couldn't get her up... After around 10 to 15 mins, Melissa seems like she is about to give up... I finally decided to jump into the water to help them, I didn't at first because it's not nice for me to be pushing her from the bottom when her boyfriend is around... Before I could jump into the water, Melissa gave one final heave and threw one-third of herself onto the kayak, she's gonna make it this time!!! She finally got on the kayak after 15 mins of struggling... I could see that they were totally burned out, we carried on our journey and they were lagging behind for a few hundred metres... Melissa was dead tired, and it was mostly Paul who was doing the peddaling...

When we reach Pulau Ubin, they sat around resting... For me, I couldn't sit around when my engine has started, so I walked around looking for anything interesting... Then I found this glass bottle, the type people use to put letters in and throw into the waters... Everyone was like, "Hey, write a love letter and throw into the sea. Maybe you'll find your true love like that Jacky Chan movie." So we started to search around for anything to write with/on, but how is it possible on that deserted part of the island? Then I remembered that the one who found his love was not the person that wrote the letter...

So I walked around looking for more interesting things, I felt a fire burning in me when I saw them... Stones!! People usually don't get all excited over stones, I usually won't either, but we were on a beach and there were small flat stones around... I started to skip the stones on the water, but my arms were tired from all the peddaling and there was still a long way back, so I did not exert too much strength... Still I was able to hit my personal best, around 6 or 7 jumps, the last few were difficult to spot as the stone was jumping a smaller distance each time and it was almost jumping on the spot before it sank...

This entire event wasn't very eventful, probably cause the people were not right... Hopefully the next time I'll get a more interesting partner...

Tuesday 4 October 2005

不可思議

Unimaginable...


How often do you see people walk into a pole? Never in my life I've seen it, I thought you'll only see this kind of things in movies and cartoons... Today, there was this guy who was walking to the carpark, his head was turned to his left looking at the cars... Then he suddenly turned back his head and slammed right into a pole... The impact must had been very hard, cause there was a loud resonance... His friend who was in front of him immediately turned back and asked, "Hey what happened? Are you ok or not?" It was such a funny sight that I couldn't stop laughing... That guy's spectacles were lying on the floor deformed, he even got cuts on the corner of his eye... We're coming to the best part of the story (I still can't believe), that guy is me!!!

It's difficult to describe my feelings at that point of time... It was comical, angered and mostly disbelief... I was very angry at myself, what the hell was I thinking?!? My friend asked me the exact same question and I replied, "Obviously I wasn't..." Damn, this is so not worth it... If I was ogling at some girls then hit the pole, I woud have felt a lot better... Then again, I'm gald there wasn't anyone around when it happened, but that was such a loud bang, I'm sure the people at the bus stop several metres away heard it as well...

My friend couldn't stop laughing, how many times in your life can you see people walk into poles? I still can't belief it happened to me... What's wrong with me nowadays?!?

I'll be going kayaking tomorrow morning, my friends are going as a couple so I didn't want to go at first... This morning, he called me and said he found another girl to pair up with me... Judging at the luck I've been having this few days, I predict something bad to happen tomorrow... Hope I'll come back alive...

Sunday 2 October 2005

艱苦的一天

Tough day...


Started work today in the morning, first job was to move a house down from the 3rd floor without any elevator... At first it was ok, since I've already done this kinda thing so often... But towards the end, I felt weak and very tired, seems like I'm not so used to carrying stuff anymore... Little did I know that what was coming up next would be much worse...

The next house we started moving at 1pm, the things kept coming down like it will never end... Everything was stacked up high in the lorry and it still wasn't enough!!! The excess had to be transported by another lorry... To make matters worse the owners had a pet dog, and most of the furniture had its hair on it, and I'm not talking about 1 or 2 strands... Imagine an old cupboard you left in your storeroom for quite some time... When you take it out, it would be covered with a layer of dust, right? Now imagine all those dust to be a dog's hair... Arghh... Damn irritating and disgusting...

Next was the destination, they moved to a condominium in Newton... Everything looks nice except there was no ramp to the lift!!! Shit!!! Who the hell designed this kinda place?!? The best alternative we could find was one step from the ground to the lift level, sounds easy yar? However, that place is an underground carpark, which means our lorry can't get in... We had to park outside and push all the way to the lift, and some of the things ain't easy to move; they had boxes full of books as well as wine... When we finally finished, it was already 6pm; this is the first time I took 5 hours to move one house...

On a side note, the owners are a Japanese couple... Remember those heavy boxes? The lady tried to lift one of this box and she moaned... Hmm... Very distracting...

Finally, I was on my way home... There was this old man who came aboard and gestured to sit beside me, being a courteous young man, I got off my seat to allow him an easier passage to the seat inside... After several stops, the old man pressed the bell and immediately jabbed me with his knee!!! FUCK!!! Not that it is painful or something, but this is a direct confrontation!!! Still being a courteous young man, I got off my seat to allowed him to get out easily... Then he turned around and scolded me in perfect Engilsh, "Why do you make an old man move in and out? Can't you just sit inside?" Huh? WTF?!? Hey, if you wanted to sit outside then say so in the first place, I'll gladly move inside... Why do people keep quiet when they still have the power to change the situation, but complain afterwards when things don't go their way? If he wasn't an old man, I would had just kicked him off the bus (my seat was beside the door)... Of course, being a courteous young man, I ignored him and just went back to my seat... There was no point in arguing with him since it was a lose-lose situation, and I'm sure the other passengers will hate me for wasting their time...

Moral of the story? Don't be courteous to old men who wants to sit beside you...