感觸

Looking back in life...

I realised that there is something fundamentally wrong with the way I live - the way I think...

I guessed something happened to me when I was young that made me close my heart... I've stopped all my emotions and rule using my head... All these years, I've always thought that I was an emotionless person... I can never empathise with others... If you think I can, that's because I can understand how a human's thought process works... I can guess the reasons and reactions on any given circumstances, but that does not mean I can understand the emotions of those reactions... Everything I had done in the past are based on logical deductions but never emotional...

My mind moves like a program, Step 1: if, else... Step 2:... Step 3:... I always go for the most logical, most beneficial method requiring the least effort... I've always thought that I'm a machine, until I discovered that I can't rule over my emotions this one time... Something that I had practiced all my life to prevent myself from getting hurt again failed, and it failed miserably...

I keep telling myself that I have to let go... The most logical and beneficial way is to let go... I've given myself hundreds of excuses to convince myself that maybe, just maybe, there is still this one little chance that I am wrong... Maybe things aren't the way I see it...

There are lots of doubts in this situation, lots of things that I can't explain with logic... These start to form knots in my heart... I've tried untying the knots forcefully or even burying them deep under some place I'll never find... I thought I succeeded, until just the mentioning of her name pulls everything back into plain view again...

These knots... These knots that have to be removed before I can move on... Else 10 years or 20 years down the road, they will surface again...




Help...

雲頂樂園

Genting Holidays...


This post is long overdue; had always been too lazy to edit the photos... This week, some of my colleagues had gone overseas thus I had the time to edit all these photos because I'm sitting at one of their seats now... Unlike my place, which anyone in the office can see my extra large monitor, my back is facing the wall here...

Went Genting on the 9th of October last year for a 3days 2 nights trip with my pig... We took the night bus from Bukit Panjang Plaza and reached around 3am... It was super cold when we reached and our jackets were not enough to keep us warm... We tried to check-in but the earliest check-in timing for normal rooms was 6.30am... Well, its definitely better than normal check-in timing of 2pm... With 3 hours to spare, we loitered around and sneaked into the casino...

Finally got our room and the view is pretty great... It overlooks the entire outdoor theme park which isn't really much for those who had been there for so many times... Still, it beats having a window view of the back wall of someone's room...


This picture took me hours to stitch, it's made up of 9 photos... Please dun waste my effort... :(

Since the weather was pretty good and we had a good entire day, I decided we should go to the theme park today... Weather at Genting is unpredictable, which I was correct...



All rides except the "Cyclone" was in service; its a shame as that is the roller coaster with the highest g-force... Oh, and we got on the "Space Shot" twice, the one that pulls you up a very tall tower and let you bungee down... The first time we got on it was to experience it, the second time was because we were crazy... It was starting to get hazy by our second drop and we decided to head back inside since it was late... Not before a ride on the viking though...

After dinner, we tried sneaking into the casino again but failed... I suggested turning in early as I had promised her the sun...


Genting on fire...

Woke up at 6.30am to catch the sunrise... Since we were up in the hills, sunrise should be pretty spectacular...


Still on ISO 800, forgot to switch back from the night shot...


Sometimes I wonder, "Why bother?"

We couldn't catch anything though as it was super hazy that day... It stayed that way the entire day which we counted ourselves lucky we had our time at the theme park already... Spent the entire day window shopping and exploring the whole summit... Was in the casino for more hours and I'll have to warn everyone that the food in the casino sucks... big time...


Tried catching the sunset but no avail either...


What else can we do but to take more pictures?

Was back in Singapore the next day... Genting is a fun place, only if you've never went there before... Of course, gamblers are an exception...