The ugly scar, the strongest part of the skin...
I remember saying about a promise I made to myself a few years back: never lie to get myself out of trouble... Until yesterday, I managed to keep this promise, a mistake I made out of fear... I denied all knowledge of something that happened even though I was the one that caused it... I felt very bad after that, I wanted to tell the truth but was afraid it would make matters worse...
Fortunately or unfortunately, someone spilled the beans today... I had no choice but confessed... It was then that I remember why I made that promise to myself several years ago... It was a good thing the punishment was light, but most importantly I no longer have anything to hide...
A few days back, someone just praised me for my honesty, someone very important in my life...
....
Starting all over again, this time no excuse...
Tuesday, 26 July 2005
Friday, 22 July 2005
好友
Best friends...
Friends, how long can they last? I hope that I will never have to find out the hard way... Is there such thing as best friends? If you say someone is your best friend, does he say you are his best friend too? I believe in every relationship, it isn't necessary for everyone to give the equal amount... Someone will bound to give more than the other, as long as they believe it is worth it, there will be a balance...
They say dogs are men's best friend, I'll never know until I have one, which I wouldn't in my foreseeable future... Still, I feel happy for animals, who have someone who care for them and love them alot... This a story I read one someone's blog, I hope I'm not infringing on any copyrights...
Title: How Could You
When I was a puppy I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" - but then you'd relent and roll me over for a bellyrub.
My housetraining took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed, listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs," you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.
Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.
She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" - still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love."
As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch - because your touch was now so infrequent - and I would have defended them with my life if need be.
I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams. Together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.
Now you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.
I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog or cat, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a goodbye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too.
After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked "How could you?"
They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you - that you had changed your mind - that this was all a bad dream...or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.
I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table, rubbed my ears and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood.
She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"
Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself - a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. With my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not meant for her. It was you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of. I will think of you and wait for you forever.
May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.
-The End-
Friends, how long can they last? I hope that I will never have to find out the hard way... Is there such thing as best friends? If you say someone is your best friend, does he say you are his best friend too? I believe in every relationship, it isn't necessary for everyone to give the equal amount... Someone will bound to give more than the other, as long as they believe it is worth it, there will be a balance...
They say dogs are men's best friend, I'll never know until I have one, which I wouldn't in my foreseeable future... Still, I feel happy for animals, who have someone who care for them and love them alot... This a story I read one someone's blog, I hope I'm not infringing on any copyrights...
Title: How Could You
When I was a puppy I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" - but then you'd relent and roll me over for a bellyrub.
My housetraining took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed, listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs," you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.
Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.
She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" - still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love."
As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch - because your touch was now so infrequent - and I would have defended them with my life if need be.
I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams. Together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.
Now you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.
I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog or cat, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a goodbye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too.
After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked "How could you?"
They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you - that you had changed your mind - that this was all a bad dream...or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.
I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table, rubbed my ears and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood.
She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"
Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself - a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. With my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not meant for her. It was you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of. I will think of you and wait for you forever.
May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.
-The End-
Saturday, 16 July 2005
被騙
Being cheated = gain or lost?
Soon after my previous post, I was called back to work... The boss said I have to work for tomorrow as well... Of course I will be paid, but I will have less time for myself...
Then I was thinking of this: If someone lied to you, do you gain something or lose something? What have you gained and what have you lost? Every situation is different, but what about those simple lies? For example: "Hey the bus is here." or "Quick! Your house is on fire!" What do you gain or lose from these?
Soon after my previous post, I was called back to work... The boss said I have to work for tomorrow as well... Of course I will be paid, but I will have less time for myself...
Then I was thinking of this: If someone lied to you, do you gain something or lose something? What have you gained and what have you lost? Every situation is different, but what about those simple lies? For example: "Hey the bus is here." or "Quick! Your house is on fire!" What do you gain or lose from these?
新事件
Updates...
It's been 10 days since the last update, nothing much happened... The pay was as I had speculated, $100... Such easy money is difficult to come by... Did I ever mention that I want to quit the band? It's because of the band director, with a person such as him on the helm, this band would have no future... No point wasting my time in something I don't even learn much... I'll probably quit after I had settled all the money matters, or after the September shows...
No work for today and tomorrow, probably meeting Ben again... Another simple day in my simple life...
It's been 10 days since the last update, nothing much happened... The pay was as I had speculated, $100... Such easy money is difficult to come by... Did I ever mention that I want to quit the band? It's because of the band director, with a person such as him on the helm, this band would have no future... No point wasting my time in something I don't even learn much... I'll probably quit after I had settled all the money matters, or after the September shows...
No work for today and tomorrow, probably meeting Ben again... Another simple day in my simple life...
Wednesday, 6 July 2005
演出完
End of performance...
The performance was real short, less than 10 minutes... My band leader said our tempo was off, but I didn't notice... I don't think anyone else noticed as well, because the mistakes made by the other group was a lot worse... Other than us, there was a lion dance troupe, they made a lot of obvious mistakes... How do I know they're making mistakes? The drums stopped at least 3 times, I'm sure anyone who doesn't know music knows they are doing it wrongly...
Me in my costume, didn't even bother to comb my hair...
Met up with Ben the other day, after my previous post... Had lunch then walked around Orchard looking for CDs and Books... Nothing much happened, but he kept saying he doesn't want to go back and hopes that time would stop at that moment... I feel sad for him, but I wish him the best... Time can't stop for you, and you must go back for your studies... Finish what you have started...
The performance was real short, less than 10 minutes... My band leader said our tempo was off, but I didn't notice... I don't think anyone else noticed as well, because the mistakes made by the other group was a lot worse... Other than us, there was a lion dance troupe, they made a lot of obvious mistakes... How do I know they're making mistakes? The drums stopped at least 3 times, I'm sure anyone who doesn't know music knows they are doing it wrongly...
Me in my costume, didn't even bother to comb my hair...
Met up with Ben the other day, after my previous post... Had lunch then walked around Orchard looking for CDs and Books... Nothing much happened, but he kept saying he doesn't want to go back and hopes that time would stop at that moment... I feel sad for him, but I wish him the best... Time can't stop for you, and you must go back for your studies... Finish what you have started...
Sunday, 3 July 2005
休假
A time to rest...
Finally one full day of rest... It may be Sunday, but I work on Sundays sometimes... Yesterday's work wasn't too tough, thanks to the National Day Parade Rehearsal... There were traffic jams everywhere, security was very tight due to that Olympics thingy at Swissotel, plus the closing of the roads due to the parade... We almost couldn't get out of Suntec because of that, was there to pick up instruments for the MOE Excel Fest... After several hours, the lorry managed to get into Suntec, then a few more passed before we could leave... The boss didn't want to pay me overtime, so I left after that...
The tanks that hogged the road...
I have another show this coming Tuesday, it's a short welcoming of the VIP, around 10 mins... I heard the pay is good, maybe I'll get $100 this time? $100 for 10 mins of show, good money yar?
Ben is back, I haven't met him yet... Seems like he is very busy, takes an average of 5 hours for him to reply to my sms or calls... Hope I can meet him later today... 2 days ago was somebody's birthday, didn't even bother to wish him happy birthday... Not like I'm the only one to do that right?
Finally one full day of rest... It may be Sunday, but I work on Sundays sometimes... Yesterday's work wasn't too tough, thanks to the National Day Parade Rehearsal... There were traffic jams everywhere, security was very tight due to that Olympics thingy at Swissotel, plus the closing of the roads due to the parade... We almost couldn't get out of Suntec because of that, was there to pick up instruments for the MOE Excel Fest... After several hours, the lorry managed to get into Suntec, then a few more passed before we could leave... The boss didn't want to pay me overtime, so I left after that...
The tanks that hogged the road...
I have another show this coming Tuesday, it's a short welcoming of the VIP, around 10 mins... I heard the pay is good, maybe I'll get $100 this time? $100 for 10 mins of show, good money yar?
Ben is back, I haven't met him yet... Seems like he is very busy, takes an average of 5 hours for him to reply to my sms or calls... Hope I can meet him later today... 2 days ago was somebody's birthday, didn't even bother to wish him happy birthday... Not like I'm the only one to do that right?
Saturday, 25 June 2005
照片
The pictures...
Never expected her to be so fast, she was online at that point of time though...
The girl with the camera, and of course me...
Picture of all the girls...
Another pic of the girls...
Never expected her to be so fast, she was online at that point of time though...
The girl with the camera, and of course me...
Picture of all the girls...
Another pic of the girls...
Friday, 24 June 2005
預慕
Sneak previews...
Just seen the pictures taken on the drumming festival, it's just a small sized one though... The sneak preview is for me, not for everyone else... You all will just have to wait until I get the full sized pictures... I'll try to post it promptly; can't gurantee anything cause work is like hell...
Just seen the pictures taken on the drumming festival, it's just a small sized one though... The sneak preview is for me, not for everyone else... You all will just have to wait until I get the full sized pictures... I'll try to post it promptly; can't gurantee anything cause work is like hell...
Wednesday, 22 June 2005
收穫
It's not what I gain but what everyone gains...
Finally found the time to continue that unfinished post, no work today... For those of you who don't know what is a Djembé, below is a picture of the one I played...
That day was like every other day, even though it was the performance itself, I wasn't too exicited... Maybe it's because I'm just one out of the many performers, so there was no pressure... About the performance, it went well, but I didn't give it my best... I'm not sure what happened, I just kept playing like my normal practice standard, not my performance standard... Our segment was quite short and nothing went wrong, so I don't think anyone noticed...
Now that everything is over, I can safely say that I had gained next to nothing from this event... However, my band gained a whole lot... The reason I was there was because the organiser asked my band director to send some members to make up the numbers, but since I was there, I was asked to seek out new members... I had to socialize alot, more than my usual self at least... Amongst the few days of practice, I briefly told the potential candidates of my intention... It was until the last day when my band director personally invited them to join my band... The Singapore Polytechnic boys were quite interested, this Monday two of them came down for the practice, the rest had project meeting... Is this becoming a very boring entry?
Let's have a change of direction, did I ever mention there were girls amongst my group? I've invited them over to my band as well, one had confirmed joining, and three others replied to my sms saying they were not free that Monday... They said they'll come when they are free next time, don't know how true that would be though... Things are starting to get interesting, looking forward to every Monday's practice that I used to dread... Pictures were taken, I'll post them when I get my hands on them...
Finally found the time to continue that unfinished post, no work today... For those of you who don't know what is a Djembé, below is a picture of the one I played...
That day was like every other day, even though it was the performance itself, I wasn't too exicited... Maybe it's because I'm just one out of the many performers, so there was no pressure... About the performance, it went well, but I didn't give it my best... I'm not sure what happened, I just kept playing like my normal practice standard, not my performance standard... Our segment was quite short and nothing went wrong, so I don't think anyone noticed...
Now that everything is over, I can safely say that I had gained next to nothing from this event... However, my band gained a whole lot... The reason I was there was because the organiser asked my band director to send some members to make up the numbers, but since I was there, I was asked to seek out new members... I had to socialize alot, more than my usual self at least... Amongst the few days of practice, I briefly told the potential candidates of my intention... It was until the last day when my band director personally invited them to join my band... The Singapore Polytechnic boys were quite interested, this Monday two of them came down for the practice, the rest had project meeting... Is this becoming a very boring entry?
Let's have a change of direction, did I ever mention there were girls amongst my group? I've invited them over to my band as well, one had confirmed joining, and three others replied to my sms saying they were not free that Monday... They said they'll come when they are free next time, don't know how true that would be though... Things are starting to get interesting, looking forward to every Monday's practice that I used to dread... Pictures were taken, I'll post them when I get my hands on them...
Monday, 20 June 2005
收穫
Everywhere in life, the true question is not what we gain, but what we do...
The festival's finally over, back to work for me...
The festival's finally over, back to work for me...
Friday, 17 June 2005
似充非實
Enrichment or waste of time?
For the past two days, I've been attending rehearsals for this Saturday's Community Drumming Festival, it was a full day event from 9am to 5pm... I'm in the group that plays only the Djembé, that very painful hand drum... There are around 40 over people in this group, only 3 or 4 people knows how to play that instrument... When I first knew that, I was shocked... "This is gonna be a disaster" I thought... Much to my relief, I think we'll be ready for this Saturday's performance... I must say the instructor is a very competent one... There is a combined rehearsal later on, I'm looking forward to see what other groups there are...
For these two days, they had been teaching the very basics of playing the Djembé... Everyone is to play a very small part of the entire rhythm, very different from what I'm used to... That's probably cause my band doesn't have that much members, two Djembés is all we have to produce the entire rhythm... Finally coming to the topic of this post, I haven't been taught anything useful... All I had was lots of practice, and it feels like I've improved a bit on my technique... At first I thought it was great that I learnt something, but today when I finally got some time to rest, I took a step back and had doubts about that... Was it really enriching or was it just a waste of time? What I learnt isn't justified with the amount of time spent, I could had been taught advance techniques with two full days of time... Maybe it's still too early to judge how enriching this event is, guess I'll give my judgement after this Sat...
For those of you who are in Singapore and seen this before 19 June, check the news on that day, not sure whether there will be a long report of it though...
For the past two days, I've been attending rehearsals for this Saturday's Community Drumming Festival, it was a full day event from 9am to 5pm... I'm in the group that plays only the Djembé, that very painful hand drum... There are around 40 over people in this group, only 3 or 4 people knows how to play that instrument... When I first knew that, I was shocked... "This is gonna be a disaster" I thought... Much to my relief, I think we'll be ready for this Saturday's performance... I must say the instructor is a very competent one... There is a combined rehearsal later on, I'm looking forward to see what other groups there are...
For these two days, they had been teaching the very basics of playing the Djembé... Everyone is to play a very small part of the entire rhythm, very different from what I'm used to... That's probably cause my band doesn't have that much members, two Djembés is all we have to produce the entire rhythm... Finally coming to the topic of this post, I haven't been taught anything useful... All I had was lots of practice, and it feels like I've improved a bit on my technique... At first I thought it was great that I learnt something, but today when I finally got some time to rest, I took a step back and had doubts about that... Was it really enriching or was it just a waste of time? What I learnt isn't justified with the amount of time spent, I could had been taught advance techniques with two full days of time... Maybe it's still too early to judge how enriching this event is, guess I'll give my judgement after this Sat...
For those of you who are in Singapore and seen this before 19 June, check the news on that day, not sure whether there will be a long report of it though...
Sunday, 5 June 2005
若隱若現
Am I here? Am I not?
Wanted to reply Daz on the chatter box, but thought I might as well blog... Been playing games as always, so not much updates or things to update...
Been trying to figure out 3d Studio for the past few weeks, finally given up on it... Not totally though, cause it's very powerful and useful, just not gonna use it for this project... Got my hands on another software, Poser 6, it's a 3d software especially for humaniod posing and animation... The major factor that made me switch over is the resources available for Poser, it's more appropriate for this thing I'm doing... However, I still can't find the exact prop I want, so I'll need alot more time to learn how to create them or at least edit the existing ones...
I've signed up for my basic theory, it's on 9th July... Should I sign up for my advanced as well? Don't have to wait so long if I do, but is it even possible?!?
Wanted to reply Daz on the chatter box, but thought I might as well blog... Been playing games as always, so not much updates or things to update...
Been trying to figure out 3d Studio for the past few weeks, finally given up on it... Not totally though, cause it's very powerful and useful, just not gonna use it for this project... Got my hands on another software, Poser 6, it's a 3d software especially for humaniod posing and animation... The major factor that made me switch over is the resources available for Poser, it's more appropriate for this thing I'm doing... However, I still can't find the exact prop I want, so I'll need alot more time to learn how to create them or at least edit the existing ones...
I've signed up for my basic theory, it's on 9th July... Should I sign up for my advanced as well? Don't have to wait so long if I do, but is it even possible?!?
Sunday, 22 May 2005
應考
Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer...
One more paper and I'm done, "done" not "done for"... Quite disappointed for my maths actually, There were a few questions a totally didn't know how to do... There goes my first class... Better do well for this last one, Introduction to Computing and the Internet, all theory about computers and networks... Memorizing is not my forte, but computers are... Wonder if they would negate each other...
Finally finished learning "童話", there are a few places where I'll be out of breath, need to practice more and work out the singing part...
Stopped playing KalOnline, cause there seems to be some problem with my network... Been playing Rise of Nations lately, very nice game even though a bit outdated, it was a Game of the Year after all... Something to learn from this game maybe? I've been having troubles with 3d Studio Max... Realized it's very difficult to learn such programs myself... No change on the layout of this page, until I can at least come up with something presentable on that...
Someone once told me: "White is the best colour, just because it is so common, people think of it as boring." When a piece of paper is white, it gives the impression as official or uncreative... I like white (greatly influenced by my best friend), which is why this page is white... I believe white can also look nice... Pieces of art usually start on a piece of white paper... It is not plain, it is white...
One more paper and I'm done, "done" not "done for"... Quite disappointed for my maths actually, There were a few questions a totally didn't know how to do... There goes my first class... Better do well for this last one, Introduction to Computing and the Internet, all theory about computers and networks... Memorizing is not my forte, but computers are... Wonder if they would negate each other...
Finally finished learning "童話", there are a few places where I'll be out of breath, need to practice more and work out the singing part...
Stopped playing KalOnline, cause there seems to be some problem with my network... Been playing Rise of Nations lately, very nice game even though a bit outdated, it was a Game of the Year after all... Something to learn from this game maybe? I've been having troubles with 3d Studio Max... Realized it's very difficult to learn such programs myself... No change on the layout of this page, until I can at least come up with something presentable on that...
Someone once told me: "White is the best colour, just because it is so common, people think of it as boring." When a piece of paper is white, it gives the impression as official or uncreative... I like white (greatly influenced by my best friend), which is why this page is white... I believe white can also look nice... Pieces of art usually start on a piece of white paper... It is not plain, it is white...
Sunday, 15 May 2005
不知死活
There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm...
Exams had started long ago and I'm already done with half of the papers... Still, I don't feel that kind of stress to make me study... I'm still playing games everyday, KalOnline and others keep me occupied the entire hours I'm awake... The fact that my brother and I play together makes it even more difficult to pull away...
A few days ago, I suddenly had the urge to play Michael Wong's "童話", so I went to find it's piano score... Now I'm almost done with the song, only the last part is left... I purposely found a score that alows me to play and sing along, meaning I won't be playing the melody... It's very easy cause it's like learning only half the song... The best thing about this score is the pitch, it's not as high as the original song's, so I wouldn't have much problems hitting the high notes...
Feeling hungry now, I'll grab something to eat then carry on my training in KalOnline...
Exams had started long ago and I'm already done with half of the papers... Still, I don't feel that kind of stress to make me study... I'm still playing games everyday, KalOnline and others keep me occupied the entire hours I'm awake... The fact that my brother and I play together makes it even more difficult to pull away...
A few days ago, I suddenly had the urge to play Michael Wong's "童話", so I went to find it's piano score... Now I'm almost done with the song, only the last part is left... I purposely found a score that alows me to play and sing along, meaning I won't be playing the melody... It's very easy cause it's like learning only half the song... The best thing about this score is the pitch, it's not as high as the original song's, so I wouldn't have much problems hitting the high notes...
Feeling hungry now, I'll grab something to eat then carry on my training in KalOnline...
Monday, 9 May 2005
志願
Ambition is not what man does, but what man would do...
My ambitions, or rather my dreams, are simple and what most people would consider impractical... First up is to be a performer, an artiste... This would always be my number 1 dream, just because I love being in the limelight... I am not embarrassed to admit that; honesty, is a virtue I've been developing quite nicely... For now, I am just an anonymous performer in a band, playing something which I have no passion for... Maybe when the keyboard arrives, that would change, but it is still not what I want the most... I want to sing, I love to sing, my passion is in singing... Over dinner the other day, our band director said he wanted to try different ways of performing and I suggested that I could sing... He said it was a good idea, but I hope he seriously means it...
My second ambition is a little bit more practical, to make games... I want to be involved in the development of a "Game of the Year" title... That is the reason why I chose this degree even though it isn't related, it was the closest one I could find... For those non-avid gamers, you probably wouldn't know who developed Final Fantasy or Gran Turismo, but still I'll be happy if millions of people love something I have a hand in developing... This contradicts with my love of being in the limelight; I, myself am not so sure why I have such a strong desire for this... Maybe it's because I love playing games, maybe it's because I admire those that can make such magnificent pieces of art...
Today was the first paper for my first year's exams, E-Business, a theory paper which I could never score as I am unable to memorize large chunks of information... Passing wouldn't be a problem though, you'll only need a little intelligence to do that... Still I'm aiming for First Class Honours... A bit impractical? Awarding of Honours are based on the best 3 subjects of every year... I've already decided to pass this and score for my other 3 subjects... Considering I got 2 As, a B and an E for my mock exams, I think I'm right on track towards my goal... Next paper is Java, which is on this Friday... I should really go study, or my Honours will just be my fantasy...
My ambitions, or rather my dreams, are simple and what most people would consider impractical... First up is to be a performer, an artiste... This would always be my number 1 dream, just because I love being in the limelight... I am not embarrassed to admit that; honesty, is a virtue I've been developing quite nicely... For now, I am just an anonymous performer in a band, playing something which I have no passion for... Maybe when the keyboard arrives, that would change, but it is still not what I want the most... I want to sing, I love to sing, my passion is in singing... Over dinner the other day, our band director said he wanted to try different ways of performing and I suggested that I could sing... He said it was a good idea, but I hope he seriously means it...
My second ambition is a little bit more practical, to make games... I want to be involved in the development of a "Game of the Year" title... That is the reason why I chose this degree even though it isn't related, it was the closest one I could find... For those non-avid gamers, you probably wouldn't know who developed Final Fantasy or Gran Turismo, but still I'll be happy if millions of people love something I have a hand in developing... This contradicts with my love of being in the limelight; I, myself am not so sure why I have such a strong desire for this... Maybe it's because I love playing games, maybe it's because I admire those that can make such magnificent pieces of art...
Today was the first paper for my first year's exams, E-Business, a theory paper which I could never score as I am unable to memorize large chunks of information... Passing wouldn't be a problem though, you'll only need a little intelligence to do that... Still I'm aiming for First Class Honours... A bit impractical? Awarding of Honours are based on the best 3 subjects of every year... I've already decided to pass this and score for my other 3 subjects... Considering I got 2 As, a B and an E for my mock exams, I think I'm right on track towards my goal... Next paper is Java, which is on this Friday... I should really go study, or my Honours will just be my fantasy...
Saturday, 30 April 2005
夢想落空
Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly...
Came back from the audition, with nothing under my name... I was shown the red light before I even finished my first sentence... According to the rules, it says I was to be given 3 - 5 mins, so I started from the beginning of the song even though I was aware that it wasn't immpressive... If I had known, I'll just start from the chorus... Guess I'll have to try again next year...
On a lighter note, last week's performance was not bad... There was another group performing as well, "Magnum Force" from Ngee Ann Poly... As you can see, the girls are very pretty; some are not that photogenic though...
GEP and Magnum Force...
While waiting for the event to start, one of the guys gave me a very hostile stare, hoping to start something I guess... I was really tempted to reciprocate, but had to keep up with our level of professionalism... This was one of our biggest client, if things go well, we might even be sent to Spain for performance!!! No way I'm gonna ruin everything because of this runt...
Maybe I should ask my band director to let me sing for our band, I'll get lots of practice, and then I'm ready for Singapore Idol.... Haha... Maybe one of our clients might even ask me to cut an album... Heh... Very busy now, must carry on dreaming...
Came back from the audition, with nothing under my name... I was shown the red light before I even finished my first sentence... According to the rules, it says I was to be given 3 - 5 mins, so I started from the beginning of the song even though I was aware that it wasn't immpressive... If I had known, I'll just start from the chorus... Guess I'll have to try again next year...
On a lighter note, last week's performance was not bad... There was another group performing as well, "Magnum Force" from Ngee Ann Poly... As you can see, the girls are very pretty; some are not that photogenic though...
GEP and Magnum Force...
While waiting for the event to start, one of the guys gave me a very hostile stare, hoping to start something I guess... I was really tempted to reciprocate, but had to keep up with our level of professionalism... This was one of our biggest client, if things go well, we might even be sent to Spain for performance!!! No way I'm gonna ruin everything because of this runt...
Maybe I should ask my band director to let me sing for our band, I'll get lots of practice, and then I'm ready for Singapore Idol.... Haha... Maybe one of our clients might even ask me to cut an album... Heh... Very busy now, must carry on dreaming...
Thursday, 21 April 2005
歌録完成
Song recordings complete...
Three songs in the morning, enough to make up for the previous days... 等你說愛我 and 緣來緣去 are both songs from 動感豪情, plus 唯一色彩 from "Para Para 櫻之花"... I think this would be all the songs I'm recording, unless there is some special request from anyone... The link again here and on the sidebar... I'll set up a poll as soon as possible...
Three songs in the morning, enough to make up for the previous days... 等你說愛我 and 緣來緣去 are both songs from 動感豪情, plus 唯一色彩 from "Para Para 櫻之花"... I think this would be all the songs I'm recording, unless there is some special request from anyone... The link again here and on the sidebar... I'll set up a poll as soon as possible...
Tuesday, 19 April 2005
極限
I'm not going to limit myself just because people won't accept the fact that I can do something else...
My voice had been very thin throughout the day... Have I reached my limit? Couldn't record any songs today, hopefully it will recover soon...
Yesterday was the last practice before the actual day of performance... I wanted to play something lighter, as I don't want to have bruises all over my hands... However, the band director wanted me to play the djembe, a very painful hand drum... Now my left palm has one very painful bruise... Hopefully it'll heal by Saturday, we don't have enough members, thus we need everyone to play at their full potential...
I'm currently recording "等你說愛我", it's from the show "動感豪情", starring Aaron Kwok... After being corrected by my brother, I'm sure I can sing it properly now... All I need is for my voice to recover, hopefully I can do it by tomorrow...
My voice had been very thin throughout the day... Have I reached my limit? Couldn't record any songs today, hopefully it will recover soon...
Yesterday was the last practice before the actual day of performance... I wanted to play something lighter, as I don't want to have bruises all over my hands... However, the band director wanted me to play the djembe, a very painful hand drum... Now my left palm has one very painful bruise... Hopefully it'll heal by Saturday, we don't have enough members, thus we need everyone to play at their full potential...
I'm currently recording "等你說愛我", it's from the show "動感豪情", starring Aaron Kwok... After being corrected by my brother, I'm sure I can sing it properly now... All I need is for my voice to recover, hopefully I can do it by tomorrow...
Monday, 18 April 2005
你牽走我的心
You took my heart away...
I've just recorded a song with the above title, I know someone who would really love to hear me sing this one... I've decided to do this one first since that someone like it so much... Once again, the link is -->here<--...
Songs left to sing: 緣來緣去, 唯一色彩, 等你說愛我, and maybe 準我愛你
I've recieved complains about my blog... Well, not all developments are without errors... I can't do much now as the entire layout is done using notepad only, and the pictures are done using ms paint... I'll try to improve on it after I get my 160GB harddisk and have Dreamweaver installed on it...
I've just recorded a song with the above title, I know someone who would really love to hear me sing this one... I've decided to do this one first since that someone like it so much... Once again, the link is -->here<--...
Songs left to sing: 緣來緣去, 唯一色彩, 等你說愛我, and maybe 準我愛你
I've recieved complains about my blog... Well, not all developments are without errors... I can't do much now as the entire layout is done using notepad only, and the pictures are done using ms paint... I'll try to improve on it after I get my 160GB harddisk and have Dreamweaver installed on it...
Friday, 15 April 2005
你是我心中最愛的人貳之緣來緣去
The one I love the most (Part 2): Fate comes and goes...
With reference to the previous post, I'm gonna talk about that girl this time... Went back to her work place, to see if I'll be able to meet her again... When I walked in, the person standing there was not her... Was a bit dissapointed... but why only a bit? Because I thought tommorrow is 15, making Monday 17, Weifen's birthday... Therefore, I already had the intention to go there to buy her a present on the actual day... Luckily I didn't, but let's carry on with the story first...
I left without much despondency, went over to the arcade to try out Initial D... Spent $10 buying the card and playing a few games... It was not bad, I just need lots of practice... Was about to head home when an idea suddenly struck me, an idea for Weifen's present... I was thinking whether to head home and come back on Monday to buy it, or buy it now and come back on Monday to get it wrapped... Finally, I decided to head over to Taka to buy it now for 2 reasons... The present I'm going to buy needs some tinkering, so it would be better if I can do it at home... Of course, the second reason would be to try my luck and see if she is there...
I stepped in and... there she was!!! It was unmistakable, I was standing quite far away, but I'll be able to recognize that figure anywhere... On with the plan... I bought what I needed first, and went over to her.... She was quite busy then, wrapping 3 or 4 boxes, so I left to settle the present first...
I bought 2 handphone straps, a balck one and a pink one... 3 days ago when I was there with Weifen, she said she liked the small little shoe on the pink one, but it doesn't come with a black strap, the color of her phone... It's easy to guess what I did then; but it wasn't easy to achieve since I did not have any tools with me... After much struggling and broken nails, I finally managed to put them together... Now, on with the show...
She was free already when I got back, went over and said "Hello"... She looked like she remembers me, but trying not to remember me... Told her I needed to get something wrapped, and chose a small box and a card... I had to concentrate on the card as I was too lazy to keep correcting it, and she's looking... Well, at least I thought she was... When I finished and looked up, she was almost done with wrapping already! I haven't even had the chance to talk to her... My mind went blanked and I didn't know where to start... Was tongue-tied and... that was it... Would this be the final episode? It looks like, but I hope it isn't...
緣來緣去 is a song by Aaron Kwok, maybe if I sing it now I'll be able to feel the song?
What's left... Anyone wants it?
With reference to the previous post, I'm gonna talk about that girl this time... Went back to her work place, to see if I'll be able to meet her again... When I walked in, the person standing there was not her... Was a bit dissapointed... but why only a bit? Because I thought tommorrow is 15, making Monday 17, Weifen's birthday... Therefore, I already had the intention to go there to buy her a present on the actual day... Luckily I didn't, but let's carry on with the story first...
I left without much despondency, went over to the arcade to try out Initial D... Spent $10 buying the card and playing a few games... It was not bad, I just need lots of practice... Was about to head home when an idea suddenly struck me, an idea for Weifen's present... I was thinking whether to head home and come back on Monday to buy it, or buy it now and come back on Monday to get it wrapped... Finally, I decided to head over to Taka to buy it now for 2 reasons... The present I'm going to buy needs some tinkering, so it would be better if I can do it at home... Of course, the second reason would be to try my luck and see if she is there...
I stepped in and... there she was!!! It was unmistakable, I was standing quite far away, but I'll be able to recognize that figure anywhere... On with the plan... I bought what I needed first, and went over to her.... She was quite busy then, wrapping 3 or 4 boxes, so I left to settle the present first...
I bought 2 handphone straps, a balck one and a pink one... 3 days ago when I was there with Weifen, she said she liked the small little shoe on the pink one, but it doesn't come with a black strap, the color of her phone... It's easy to guess what I did then; but it wasn't easy to achieve since I did not have any tools with me... After much struggling and broken nails, I finally managed to put them together... Now, on with the show...
She was free already when I got back, went over and said "Hello"... She looked like she remembers me, but trying not to remember me... Told her I needed to get something wrapped, and chose a small box and a card... I had to concentrate on the card as I was too lazy to keep correcting it, and she's looking... Well, at least I thought she was... When I finished and looked up, she was almost done with wrapping already! I haven't even had the chance to talk to her... My mind went blanked and I didn't know where to start... Was tongue-tied and... that was it... Would this be the final episode? It looks like, but I hope it isn't...
緣來緣去 is a song by Aaron Kwok, maybe if I sing it now I'll be able to feel the song?
What's left... Anyone wants it?
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