手

The future is in my hands...


I just signed my contract with Singapore Technologies Electronics yesterday, will be working full time there starting on 2^nd July...

Yesterday was Efin's surprise birthday as well... He was told that there'll be an engagement party at the chalet, so he went there unsuspectingly... Thinking of only eating some stuff and disappearing, he got a shock of his life when everyone jumped on him... The party was boring, but the food was nice though...

Met up with Weida, Ben and surprisingly, Fuyao after that... Talked a bit about our current status and went home very soon because Ben had some "unforeseen circumstances"...

I'll be having a performance tomorrow at "The Arts House"... I know I've said I wanted to quit the band for a million times already, but those were out of frustration... Now, because of a new development, I've lost all interest in staying with the band... Furthermore, I'll be starting work soon and I'll have my little venture which I'll announce soon... Unless something else can keep my interest there, I'll probably quit by next month after the performance at Esplanade (things would be difficult for everyone if I left before the performance)...

That's all for now; last paper this Tuesday and I'm a free man after that... Without the band, my hands would definitely thank me for it... but I guess I ain't treating them any nicer by learning to play the guitar...

黑暗

Darker than black...


Yesterday night I made a very important decision: to delay my project until next year... I couldn't finish it in time... Maybe I could if I rush it, but what good would it do? The rushed work would most probably fail, then I'll still have to delay my graduation for another year... However, I will ruin any chance of getting my First Class Honours...

第一章

The first paper signifies the end of your schooling days...



May 2007

Today was my first paper; quite ok I guess... Don't have much confidence in scoring well for it... Next event on my calendar is the deadline for the project... There's still quite a lot of to take care of...

The next interesting event is the Creative Arts Programme at the end of this month... It's a Seminar held once a year for for Secondary 2-3 and JC 1 kids and we'll be there to teach them percussion for their closing ceremony... Last year's workshop was fun; it was the first time I got to teach music and the first time I had to write musical notations... This brings back memories... Haizz... I was younger then... =Þ


Percussion performance at Closing Ceremony

Sometimes its amazing how accurate such tests are, at least most of them are... I'm not talking about those irritating and illogical tests that people think up of in 5 minutes...

Your Existing Situation Sensitive; needs aesthetic surroundings, or an equally sensitive and understanding partner with whom to share a warm intimacy. Your Stress Sources Wishes to be independent, unhampered, and free from any limitation or restriction, other than those which he imposes of himself or by his own choice and decision. Your Restrained Characteristics Demanding and particular in his relations with his partner or those close to him, but careful to avoid open conflict since this might reduce his prospects of realizing his hopes and ideas. Feels trapped in a distressing or uncomfortable situation and seeking some way of gaining relief. Able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity providing no turmoil or emotional agitation is involved. Your Desired Objective Seeks the determination and elasticity of will necessary to establish himself and to make himself independent despite the difficulties of his situation. Wants to overcome opposition and achieve recognition. Your Actual Problem Strongly resists outside influence and any interference with his freedom to make his own decisions and plans. Works to establish and strengthen his own position.

專業藝人和藝術家

Professional artiste and artist...


Most of you should know that I'm a percussionist, that explains the artiste part... Soon, I'll be a professional artist as well...

Last week, I received a call asking if I applied for a Software Engineer job at 'S' company... She then asked me to go for an interview on Friday morning... Though I did not like the job of a Software Engineer, I thought I should still go just for the experience; haven't gone for any interviews before...

The interview wasn't as nerve wrecking as I thought it would be; its simpler than I expected... They asked me lots of theory questions that I couldn't answer, so I was surprised when they called me later in the evening to inform me of the second interview... (Are interviews all so easy?!?) I was told to prepare my portfolio - the website that I mentioned in my resume...

So I prepared my portfolio as ordered... Somehow, hearing the term portfolio made me prepare my drawings as well... I saved the scans and website in a CD and brought my drawings along... On the way there, I suddenly remembered that I'm applying for an IT job; a website would have some link though minimal, but drawings? What was I thinking?!? When I reached, I had some time to prepare myself as the interviewer would be late... I kept my drawings aside first, preparing to show only my website...

When the interviewer came in, he asked if I'm applying for some multimedia kind of job... I said, "No, I'm applying for the post of Software Engineer." On the application form in his hands, I can clearly see that I wrote Software Engineer... Then he asked to see my website, at the same time asking me if I played computer games... Ha!!! What computer game haven't I played before?!?

Seeing that I wrote drawing as one of my skills on the resume, he asked if I have any samples of my drawings... HaHa!!! I have!!! And I showed him my drawings... It was then that he told me the company needed people to do the graphical parts of the programs; engineers don't know nuts about aesthetics... My eyes lit up at that moment, "Is this really happening?!?" I'm gonna be doing what I really wanted to do!!!

2 years back, I blogged about my ambitions just after my first paper... Now that I'm getting a job in the same field, I'm one big step closer to my second ambition!!! I had planned to do such work after my Master's degree where I'll concentrate on this field, never would I had dreamed that my first job would be so close to what I've always wanted...

So... I'll be starting work on 1^st July, as a professional artist... Haha... The net worth of my hands are gonna be increased by 300%; aren't worth much as a lowly musician now... Guess SIM's lectures are good for one thing or the other... If not for the boring lectures, I wouldn't had started drawing just to keep myself awake...

Do I still need a good degree then? Of course!!! Its for my personal satisfaction, I can't forget that I had wanted and still want a First Class Honours...

鼻窦炎

Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow...


My sinuses have act up again... It seldom happens, but when it does it is damn irritating... The headache makes it difficult to get any work done... Its not at if I'm being very productive before; but now its worse...

Yesterday was Weida's birthday, and we had a BBQ celebration the night before... It was quite alright I guess... Probably the best part was discussing the business plans with Weida, then with our "future employee"... The fire was very strong, some very good charcoal was used... My fingers got cooked while trying to BBQ the stuff and roast marshmallows... This is where the problem begins I think...

I had a performance on Sunday morning, the usual stuff with the addition of "Matsuri" by Kitaro... My fingers must have been damaged from the previous day such that it was too dry and blistered easily... The Ethnic Fusion part was perfect, at least for my part that is... The problem was with "Matsuri", with only 2 practice sessions, I know it will definitely be a disaster before we even start... With a blister at hand (pun intended), I can only try my best not to mess everything up... After so many years of experience in pretending, its easy for me to cover my own mistakes; insiders can still see that I'm making a mistake even though they can't hear it...

Not everyone is as good at covering up their own mistakes though, so the performance ended badly... We screwed up big time, and its bad that we're in the territory of a significant, irritating rival band... Oh well, things could get worse...

For now, I'm doing my project, or at least supposed to be doing it... Let me go back to it then...

You Are 56% Perfectionist

No one would call you a perfectionist, but you definitely have a side of you that strives to be perfect. Try to see your mistakes as learning experiences, and don't be so hard on yourself when you screw up!

Are You a Perfectionist?

P.S.: I think I'm very much a perfectionist though...

動機

Beware the man without motive...


These two days made me realised some important things about myself, coincidentally, I think it all roots down to the same incident... I've never stopped to think about what others think about me; ever since several years ago, I only live true to myself...

Few years back, I promised myself not to lie unless necessary; lying to get myself out of trouble is not what I consider necessary... Ever since then, I started to not think about how others view me; if I want to say the truth, I can't always be the good guy...

Then things start to evolve... In order not to put myself in a position where I have to choose between lying or the unpleasant truth, I started to become aware of what I say... I hold back when speaking so that conversations will not lead towards a direction I do not want it to... Maybe it's the controlling of the conversation, or the holding back of words that give others the impression that I have some ulterior motives...

Thinking back on the way I speak, I feel its irritating as well... Want to speak, don't want to speak; sentences that never completes, I wonder why I still have any friend at all...

As to ulterior motives, I guess everyone has them... My motives to get close to anyone? Its either "something that they can do for me" or "something that I can do for them"... Once this initial motive is complete, I'll usually slack off; whatever happens next is just fate and coincidence... Then again, maybe not all are like that... I guess there IS one ultimate motive if I still bother to talk to you at all; if one day I'm lonely, at least there is someone I can talk to...

Well, that sums up my reply for Cherlynn... As to what is my initial motive for getting close to you, you'll have to ask me personally...

Don't know where to keep this, so I'll just post it here... My current favourite song from my current favourite artiste...

"Good-Bye Days" by YUI

だからいま　会いにゆく　そう決めたんだ
dakara ima ai ni yuku sou kimetanda
I want you to listen to this song from my pocket

ポケットの　この曲を　君に聴かせたい
poketto no kono kyoku wo kimi ni kikasetai
that's why I decided to go and see you

そっとヴォリュームを上げて　確かめてみたよ
sotto voryuumu wo agete tashikamete mita yo
I tried to softly turn up the volume to make sure that it was just right

oh Good-bye days いま　変わる気がする　昨日までに　so long
OH GOOD BYE DAYS ima kawaru ki ga suru kinou made ni SO LONG
oh goodbye days, for until yesterday it had been unchanging for so long

かっこよくない優しさがそばにあるから
kakko yokunai yasashisa ga soba ni aru kara
but now, I have a feeling that things will change; for your kindness is nearby

～with you
~WITH YOU
I'm with you


片方の　イヤフォンを　君に渡す
katahou no earphone wo kimi ni watasu
passing the other half of the earphones to you

ゆっくりと　流れ込む　この瞬間
yukkuri to nagare komu kono shunkan
together, it slowly pours forth; this moment.

うまく愛せていますか?　たまに迷うけど
umaku aisete imasu ka? tama ni mayou kedo
do I show you enough love? because I sometimes get confused

oh Good-bye days いま　変わり始めた　胸の奥　alright
OH GOOD BYE DAYS ima kawari hajimeta mune no oku ALL RIGHT
oh goodbye days, now, it's begun to change deep in my heart ~ ALL RIGHT

かっこよくない優しさがそばにあるから
kakko yokunai yasashisa ga soba ni aru kara
because your gentleness is nearby

～with you
~WITH YOU
I'm with you


できれば　悲しい　想いなんてしたくない
dekireba kanashii omoi nante shitakunai
if it could be done, I don't want to have to feel sadness

でもやってくるでしょ?
demo yatte kuru deshou?
yet, it always seems to come somehow, doesn't it?

そのとき　笑顔で Yeah hello!! my friend　なんてさ
sono toki egao de YEAH HELLO! MY FRIEND nantesa
when that time comes, with a smile if I could say something like

言えたならいいのに…
ieta nara ii noni...
"Yeah hello! my friend", it would be ok...

同じ唄を　口ずさむ時　そばにいて　I wish
onaji uta wo kuchi zusamu toki soba ni ite I WISH
when I hum that same song, I wish you were nearby

かっこよくない優しさに会えてよかったよ
kakko yokunai yasashisa ni aete yokatta yo
I'm glad that I met you and felt your kindness

…Good-bye days
…Good-bye days
…Good-bye days

Taken from Vllasko.com

四月

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year...



April 2007

This month is going to be hectic... My future more or less depends on how I prioritize and execute my to-do list... I have 3 more assignments due on Monday, and a major project that has to be handed up next month... If I focus only on my project, I'll have no time to study for my exams which is next month as well...

Planning is one thing, executing it is another... Being a great procrastinator, its quite impossible for me to finish anything on my own... I really need someone to constantly watch over me and remind me what I need to do; this or I can find my goal in life... If I have a goal, I'll do anything it takes to accomplish it, that is my way of life... Friends call me determined, but they actually meant stubborn...

I don't see any chance of a goal popping up anytime soon, so I can only hope there'll be someone to force me onto the right track...

My parents are back this morning, but they'll be off to Penang coming Monday to visit my brother... This time they're taking the car with them; no food, no car, no one to wash my clothes...

睡醒

Party like there's no tomorrow... Then when you wake up the next morning, you'll be surprised!!!


Just woke up after a 12 hours sleep; feels so good to be able to sleep for as long as you want when you're tired... Sometimes, I feel that being able to sleep on forever is the best thing in life... Then again, there are lots of things that I want to do in life, achieving that would be more satisfying than sleeping...

After a 3 days 2 nights chalet, I was burnt out... Its supposed to be a time to relax, free ourselves from the examination pressures, the mental stress, but the physical tiredness wasn't any much lesser... It was tiring, but it was fun... Every bit of energy used was having fun, including the strenuous workout I had on the last night...

The bowling we had on the last day was excellent, I managed to bowl one of my best scores on a first game!!! Not sure if its because I was too tired to think too much into it or the pressure from those staring at my butt... I don't remember getting too much strikes or spares; it's amazing how the score can be so high...

Got a bad news when I picked up my sister, my parents are coming back tonight... No more sleeping late, no more peace and tranquility, and worst of all, no more car!!! Not sure if I'm even able to drive in the weekends... Haizz... Oh well... At least there's no more days where I wonder if I have anything to eat in the afternoon or what to eat for dinner... Clothes will be a lot cleaner too...

The flowers in the balcony might be happier too.. Why might? Cause every time my mum goes away, the plants will go through an irregular cycle of water and no water... They're almost only watered when they're on the brink of death... Amazingly, the flowers still bloom (except for the chrysanthemum which would probably die within the next few days) and the leaves are greener then before...

Life would be back to normal soon... Though I like the life now, its not the best for me... I should focus on the more important things in life after this holiday in my life... Other than the great improvement in my driving skills, I haven't learnt anything this one month plus... Some people told me I'm becoming too childish... Do I become childish only when my mum is not around? What am I trying to prove to them?

酒醒

The easiest way to avoid a hangover is to just stay drunk...


Yesterday was the first time I vomited after drinking... I had a ¾ mug filled with Hennessy, then topped it up with ice to the brim... All this finished in under 10 mins!!! Its quite scary to even think about it, I wonder what made me did it in the first place...

What made me vomit wasn't the drink, it was the circling around the pole that did the final blow... Remind me not to do it again... Unless if there's some reward in it of course...

Oh, and I didn't have a hangover... Guess I've vomited out most of the alcohol already...

危機

Crisis: 危= danger; 機= opportunity...


Just sent my assignments via registered post this evening... Its great that I can still hand in thick stacks of assignments even though I had not put much effort into doing it... Well... The feeling that I used to have when handing in assignments has disappeared... There wasn't any satisfaction, much less excitement...

It's a good thing that I have the car today, else I wouldn't be able to finish all my assignments... The post office closes at 5pm and at 3 pm, I still haven't finished my last assignment... Went over to Jerom's house to rush out the last assignment; left his house at 4pm and headed to school to print the assignments... Went back to the post office at Bukit Panjang to sent it out... It was 4:55pm when everything was done; can't emphasize how lucky I am to have the car...

Now that assignment 1 is out of the way, I only have to worry about assignment 2 and the project... Actually, the assignments are not much of a worry since I know I'll be able to finish them within a short time... What worries me the most is the project... We're supposed to spend at least 400 hours on it but I've probably spent only 10 hours... Need another 390 hours or 16.25 days without sleep to complete it... Haizz...

For now, I'm free for anything fun... I wanna do something!!! Got a car and no where to go...

興奮

If you have anything you want to do, do it before the excitement dies...


My hands have been shaking for the entire day; didn't feel it until I did delicate stuff... I couldn't understand at first why they were shaking until I finally remembered - my parents have gone for a 1.5 months holiday to China, leaving all me alone WITH the car keys... Heh heh... My hands are shaking in excitement...

Yesterday morning, I went Bishan for filming... Its for a tv series on Suria, and that's all I'm gonna say... Nothing special though, it happened as how I had imagined... 2 hours of filming for 1 minute of the show, kept repeating the same thing over and over again for different camera angles...

After that, went Suntec for the Career Fair... Weida was totally interested in the Casino line of job and was so eager to sign up for the course... He didn't in the end, guess he really did consider both sides of the coin... The only job that interest me was that of a Police Senior Officer... The starting pay was around $3000!!! Not only is the pay tempting, imagine yourself as a Police officer and you'll know how fun it will be... With that kind of pay, I can afford a car straight after I graduate from the Police Academy (8 months I think) as opposed to doing some normal office work for 2 - 3 years... I can only apply after I get my results though, and I haven't told my parents about it... I don't even know whether I'm serious about it or not...

In the mean time, assignment 1 is due today... I didn't hand in anything... This is gonna be a tough year...

名

I want to name my kids after people I hate so I can beat them and feel good about it...


Not sure if anyone knows how to write my Chinese name; it has now been changed to 陳翰輝 (陈翰辉)... All else remains the same though, the dialect name and 漢語拼音...

Life these days are... stressful? Assignments are due and project isn't any further, then assignments again, then the final project submission... Yes, everyone would be stressful with such a schedule, but I don't feel the pinch... When I think about it, it is stressful, but not enough stress to make me get off my butt and start working... Good thing my classmate comes to my house often to force me to do the assignments with him, progress is slow but still there's progress...

Oh well... Life gets by...

P.S.: I'll never name my kids after my enemies, funerals ain't cheap...

歸來

I'm back!!! again...


It seems that I've been kept out of my home for the past few weeks; feels like I've come back so many times already... This time is for good, I hope... At least for another 3 more months... Oh, there seems to be a chalet during April, so I know I won't be home forever...

About this trip back to my mother's hometown, I'll be damned if I didn't go back... No one told me its my cousin's wedding!?! I am glad I went back this vacation, saw a lot of my relatives, which means lots of "ang baos"... This is the first time in my life I got so many red packets, but that's beside the point... I am really happy to see everyone, or at least most of them, all of which I haven't see for years... My cousins had grown more pretty/handsome and taller... Damn... At least no one realised how old I was until I had to remind them, those little cousins thought we were only one or two years (6 to 7 years in actual fact) apart!!! Oh well, can't say its always a nice thing...

I could recognise everyone, though not by their names, but most couldn't recognise me... I used to be fat and wore ugly spectacles; shouldn't be too much of a difference right? Anyway, after so many years, I've finally learnt how to talk to people... Had fun talking and playing with everyone, though I don't remember Cinny being so violent...


My violent cousin Cinny...

No pictures as of yet, 3 different cameras at 3 different locations... Gonna take a while to gather them on this computer...

新開始

A new beginning does not mean the past did not happen; it only means you have gotten over it...


Well, its a new year now... Somehow I'm not excited, and I'm pretty sure that's because my house is empty with only me and my cousin... Everyone left for Malaysia yesterday morning... And then the second reason - I'll be leaving tonight as well... Weida is holding a party at his house tomorrow, then there's Esprimere outing on Tuesday... Haizz... I'll really love to go...

Tentatively, I'll be back latest next Sunday evening... The bus ticket has already been booked, though I'm finding ways to come back earlier... This is the most boring Lunar New Year I've experienced...

童年

You know childhood is over when a puddle seems like an obstacle instead of an opportunity...


During the lecture today, our lecturer talked about "Wizard of Oz" system and asked us to guess what it is... I realised I had totally no idea what it was... The only thing I know about "Wizard of Oz" is there is a lion, tin man (or was it a scarecrow?) plus a little girl and some others in the party... I have no idea how it starts or even what the story is about... Guess I have to go back and study my kiddy stories...

Was sick again last night... This time it was not as bad, I knew it was coming and went to sleep before I feel the full-blown effects... But its a total waste of my life to sleep at 8pm... Hopefully its fully cured now; on and off sickness like this is very irritating...

情人節

Valentine's Day or Singles Awareness Day?


Today is just another plain boring day; make it a public holiday and maybe I'll do something different... Valentine's Day hasn't had any impact in my life - I've never been in a relationship during this period...

Today I just went to school not expecting anything... I didn't bring my sweater thinking that I'm not so susceptible to cold anymore... Guess I over estimated my training during reservist; as I boarded the bus, I knew I'll be frozen meat today...

Lectures are getting more deserted these days, I wonder what happened during the few weeks of my absence... With lesser people in the lecture theatre, the temperature will drop lower as well... Now that I'm typing this, its obvious that I survived, but it was a tough battle...

Speaking of battles, I've spent many "nights" battling in Neverwinter... Don't really understand how this game appeals me and I wonder how long it'll keep me hooked on...

Well, hope everyone have a nice day today be it singles or attached... Meanwhile, there's a civilisation waiting for their saviour in Neverwinter...

從生

Mind over matter...


It seems like I've been wallowing in my own misfortunes for the past few months... Where has the optimistic and always cheerful me gone to? Well, is gonna stop now... I'm back!!! Those who hate me would hate me even more cause I'm more potent than before... Those who love me? That's up to you to decide...

I was sick last night, something I haven't experienced in a long, long while... Maybe it is to signify my revival? Still ain't feeling perfect right now...

There's a lot of school work for me to catch up to... My project is still at a standstill; I still have 3½ of an assignment to complete before 3^rd March... Life's gonna be tough for this few weeks... Its a good thing I'm back to my optimistic self...

You Are 73% Thankful

You are a very thankful person - for both the big and little things in life. Your optimism is powerful. Getting through hard times is fairly easy for you.

How Thankful Are You?

故鄉景依舊，環視人不識

Where you return to may not be what you return to...

You Are 76% Peaceful

You are a very peaceful person. All is good in your world, no matter what's going on. Occasionally you let your problems get to you, but you generally remain upbeat. Your inner strength is inspirational - much more so than you may realize.

How Peaceful Are You?

I'm back, and it seems like I've lost more than I have gained... I may have gained new friends, but is it worth at the cost of old ones? Things feel very different now and I don't even know why... I've missed 21 hours worth of lectures and that would be difficult to catch up on... Some strong motivation would be needed to overcome the inertia...

If given the choice, I would choose not to have gone for this reservist even though it is a "high key"... This is my first in-camp and I have already been chosen to take over the company when the current CSM leaves... I tried to keep a low profile by talking to only one person but still I'm singled out... Don't really like to make decisions these days; don't understand what everyone sees in me that makes them trust their lives in my hands... Seems like I'll have to learn how to keep a lower profile... There was a supernatural sighting during one of the nights but I'll talk about it some other day... Let me drown in my own sorrows for now...

二月

February 2007...


Its the end of January and since I won't be around for the next 2 weeks, I decided to make the calendar for next month...


Castle style...

Though it doesn't look so, this setup is more sturdy then the previous one... a lot more sturdy...

Yesterday was a fun day, its been long since I went out to have fun from morning till night... Went with Cherlynn and Suyee to Toa Payoh KBox in the late morning, then went to watch "Kong Fu Mahjong 3" in the afternoon... Didn't really want to watch any movie, but after minutes of pleading, protesting and guessing of plots, we finally compromised on that movie... Its not a bad movie, but its not one I'll recommend anyone either...

After that we went Novena Square because Suyee insisted on having dinner at "Pepper Lunch"... We went exploring Velocity first before eating... There are more people there now as compared to previously when there wasn't Velocity; quote from Cherlynn, "there are people for me to squeeze past now..."

Next, to satisfy Cherlynn, we went Junction 8 to take Neoprints... Some how the night ended with me treating them to "Banana Crumble" at Swensen's; why I did that is still beyond my comprehension... Haizz... Spent so much in 1 day...


Collage from Suyee, lazy to do my own... ;)

權力

We do not have the power to change the winds, but we can turn the sails...

Your Power Level is: 77%

You're a very powerful person, and you know that all of your power comes from within. Keep on doing what you're doing, and you'll reach your goals.

How Powerful Are You?

I'll be going for In-Camp-Training; that, I have no power over... It'll be a 4 days course starting tomorrow, then the real 10 days exercise next Monday... Haizz... I'm worried about all the lessons I'll miss... When I'm in the lecture theater, I'm not absorbing much cause I'm not paying attention... Now that I'm not able to go for lesson, I can't even absorb that small amount I could... There's a high chance I'm gonna do badly for this year... There goes my First Class...

On a happy note... erm.. there's nothing I can be happy about... :(